you might just be one
Putting it simply: Handlers are the hoomans who care for pups, pets, and critters — keepers of treats, givers of scritches. In practice it is a dynamic role, and what follows may not cover every Handler or every relationship. Contest spaces often say “trainer”; see trainer/handler on Florida Critter & Trainer Contest for the same ideas in that context.
In the world of kink you can usually boil down roles to Dom, sub, or switch. A Handler is not inherently just one of those — some Handlers are Dominant in a scene, some are not, and some switch. Pup, pet, and critter play is often more fluid than a lot of other kinks as far as protocol (or the lack of it), so care, guidance, and power exchange can blend in different ways. A Handler can also be a Sir, Owner, Master, trainer, or another role in a particular relationship; when those roles overlap, additional rules and boundaries may apply.
Non-negotiables
01
Do not touch a pup/pet/critter, hug, try to force them to do something, or start any interaction without asking first and receiving consent. One way to see if they want to play while they are in headspace is to make eye contact and offer a toy. Let them come to you. They will indicate what, if anything, is appropriate. Do not take it personally if they do not want to interact — and respect that decision.
02
A collared pup/pet/critter may be in a committed dynamic with another Handler or trainer, or with a partner whose agreement covers who handles them — especially when there is a lock on the collar. If you want to interact, get permission from the person who holds that relationship when there is one, and let them indicate what is allowed. Do not touch collars that are not yours. Communication is key.
03
If you do not like something, or they do not, or someone has a particular limit, name it. Make sure that is respected, and make sure you respect others’ limits — that is part of consent. If you are not familiar with SSC, RACK, or PRICK, ask — people in the community can help define them for you.
04
There are more pups, pets, and critters than you can count. Respect everyone’s space and do not overcommit yourself — and remember that not every pup/pet/critter is yours to handle or train, even when the mosh mat is full of energy.
05
If you want to learn more, ask those with experience in the community — or contact NCF-PAH and we will do our best to help.
The job
Comfort and care before, during, and after a scene. This can be as little as making sure they drink fluids while in headspace, avoiding allergens, taking cool-down periods so they don’t overexert or overheat, providing emotional support after a scene while coming out of headspace, or even grooming.
Keep scenes and spaces Safe, Sane, and Consensual. Stop a scene if you have to. Pups/pets/critters can cut themselves or chip a tooth when playing too hard — direct the scene when you can, and prepare the room before they get rambunctious.
When entering or in a scene, the Handler should treat and address the pup/pet/critter as they would the animal - not as a hooman posing as an animal. There are limitations, of course. At the end of a scene, provide for them while they’re reasserting their hooman selves. Sometimes this is an emotional or sensitive time - be attentive.
Pups, pets, and critters get bored when there is nothing to do. Play with them (be gentle; you do not want to tug too hard on a toy and break a tooth). Give them love, attention, scritches, pets, belly rubs, and treats. Train them if you would like. Let them puddle on you and give them cuddles. Let the animal they identify with in headspace guide how you play, within their limits and consent. Learn their personality and have fun!
The interaction, or even dynamic, between a Handler and a pup/pet/critter can be extremely rewarding and form an intensely emotional bond, even within an existing relationship. You won’t always do everything right, you will mess up, but use it as a learning experience. For me though, there’s nothing that pulls at my heart and makes me want to be a better person than when my pups cuddle up on me and I feel their stress melt away.
Keep an open mind and have fun. If you think something is missing, contact us — we welcome constructive feedback, especially as pup/pet/critter play continues to evolve.
— Handler Chris, founding member of NCF-PAH
Related edition: flcritter.com/what-is-trainer.
